answering that call

As I sat there..His spirit spoke to my stubborn soul. But I continued to tell myself that I was now okay..even though my heart still aches for I have still not healed.

“In His presence today..is where you can lay all your burdens..”..he told us.. “all the insecurities…the masks you have been wearing…all the bitterness.. bring it all to the altar. And lay it down, for He is able!”

I looked around to see who would stand up and walk up front..and I wondered what they could be going through. And I thought to myself..”hey..maybe mine is not too serious…yes…I think now am okay..”

Then at that moment I felt a shudder…a cold feeling passed through my body…and I knew whether I want it or not I was going to answer to that altar call. That even though they will ask themselves and imagine it all..I will answer the altar call. Because only I know the pain that has led me before my Father. Only I know what has held me to this very day. God’s love has kept me.

But I needed strength…I knew I  couldnt do it on my own. So there I was…we were a countable number. And as I stood there..as one of the prayer leaders held my shoulder and prayed for me..I knew I had ashamed the devil! This fight is not over! I will not rest. . .until I know that it is well with my soul.. Amen.

Blessings beautiful people,
Love.

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to start from the beginning or

not..

My little sister is really excited about her school trip tommorrow…but mostly the fact that she doesnt have homeworks today…so she can just leisure around the house and play and watch t.v as she eats, which, she usually doesnt on a normal schoolnight.

Her bright smile tells it all…the newfound ‘freedom’..You can hear it in her voice as her singing echoes in the house.

She is 10 and so full of life and energy…Her pink/lilac room is so flowery and cute…and as I flip through her storybooks..all fairytales…I cant help but miss the good old days…the innocence.

Growing up erases all that..somehow. Some people help make it faster actually…by how they treat us..the things they do, or say to us.

I remember the shock when I first learnt where babies come from. Now that was a major shocker for me. Worst part is..our househelp at the time gladly took me through the details…making it soo horrifying that that day I looked at my mum with so much pity….just the thought of what I did to her when I was born made me shudder! And I didnt dare ask her about it..you know..just to confirm..lest I get some good spanking using the dreaded red slipper!!

So there I was….8 years old with this new-found knowledge and the world spinning around me. Nothing was the way I’d seen it.. But this was just the beginning. I was starting to learn that this world is no perfect place. Up to this day I dont know if there is anybody who could have prepared me for what lay ahead..  

See I dint understand that thats how the world works; that something so good could come out of an experience so painful..(no young child does anyway)
that sometimes the most life changing moments in our lives are those that we dread the most.
(a special dedication to my friend who delivered a healthy bouncing baby boy last night. Girl was really determined…attended her evening BCOM classes without fail and only took a break this week. Girl, when I grow up I want to have your strength! :* cant wait to hold that bundle of joy this sunday!! :)….)

Babies… I love them. I miss being one. Knowing absolutely nothing and being so peaceful and cute about it. . .Adulthood..well..eeerrr…am trying. I think I really am. Currently on a mission to connect with my inner child. 🙂

Stay cute,
Love.

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you can call me Love

..not because of anything else..but my love for that word…hehe..
and let me tell you this right from the start.. I am a lovesickhopelessromantic…who will sonetimes seem illogical!!

So….all yee who have ears flee..flee lest you fall prey to these deeply heartfelt memoirs of an aspiring writer who thinks its enough to write from the heart.. 🙂

Oh and I like to play counsellor too…especially Love Doctor..*tihihii*..(giggles in palms)..

Other than that am the simplest person and the most positive you’ll find around. So positive i was once told am too unnecessarily positive!!! Oh well..story for another day.. :))

Nice meeting y’all.
Love.

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