Maybe I Want To Get Married To Make Sex Right!!

Yes. I said it!!

This past weekend was the sort of weekend part of me had been dreading.. First of all, it was a party weekend, it had been two months since we ‘bonded’ and we were going to be ‘alone’ at some point. Honestly, we didn’t even think twice!! I know I didn’t.

Now we back to square one. I feel like giving up already. Its not as easy as it seemed. It was probably easy because for those two months we never found ourselves alone. Maybe because we never really had a chance to so we just went with the flow.

We have carefully avoided the topic all weekend but its been like this ‘craizy monkey on my back’..the whole time. So yesterday I broke the awkardness and asked him ” so now whats next?” and he said, ” I dont know”

I’ve heard that before and I know exactly what it means-we just go with the flow.

I honestly dont know how to do this anymore. Things are getting more complicated by the day. Now almost all of a sudden, he has a whole house and car to himself. (his mum has travelled and not even she knows when she will be back) He is soon going to start working, still jobhunting. All these new dynamics are so new to me..and I must say, really different and exciting and all I can think of now is one thing!!

Cant we just get Married Already??

I mean, what are we waiting for. Oh! I know…financial stability, for me to atleast finish my degree..for us to be ‘ready for marriage’. Question is, is there really a time we can say that we are really ‘ready’ for marriage?

Maybe am feeling all this pressure and uneasyness because am a little disappointed at myself. Heck, it was all too conducive, that weekend. All I had to do was lie to my parents that I would be at my sister’s place in campus. Left home on friday morning, was back Monday evening. Yea, all began with a lie.

When I got into this relationship at 17, who am I kidding, I saw none of this coming. Now I have to deal with battling with guilt every once in a while. Am at a crossroads. In the past, I have hit rock bottom with this and I have even suggested that we break up because we cant be together and not ‘fall’.

4 years of ‘bonding’…(we like to call it that to make it seem legit) is not easy to just all of a sudden break off. It feels like a ‘divorce’ of sorts.

Marriage seems to be the ultimate solution to all this. I really envy people who meet and marry in two years. No mambo jambo, all straight to the point and everything runs smoothly. Those definitely have no problem waiting. Heck!! We waited for a year before we kissed..for two years before we first ‘bonded’.

Sometimes life can be so unfair I guess. Its funny how in the past people would just quickly hit it off and introduce each other to their parents and thus make it official. Then more women started getting into careers and soon that fades away. I guess we get what we asked for. I asked God to help me get into Arch school and I got a whooping 6 Years of it! I start my 4th this September.

Some may think “Maybe I want to get Married to make Sex Right”.. Well for now, I wont lie to you, Its mostly that! I will tell you this, like I have been telling everybody else. (though it started out as a joke)

I am Getting Married Next Year!!

Am out,
Love.

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2 thoughts on “Maybe I Want To Get Married To Make Sex Right!!

  1. I don’t think anyone is every truly “ready” for marriage. If you constantly wait for the “right time” more than likely there will never be a “right time.” At some point and time one chooses to seize the moment. Personally the love of my life was waiting for the right time. Waiting for the right amount of money before getting married, waiting to be in the right place at the right time. You know what happened? Someone else came along and picked up while he was waiting now he has to wait a lifetime. Was I wrong for not waiting longer? I waited five years too long and though the love I had for him will always be part of me I realized I was “ready” and someone else was too. That someone just wasn’t the man I always thought it would be. I made a decision since he wasn’t ready and didn’t know when he would be ready that someone who was deserved the opportunity to have true love and so did I.

    Marriage has been a tough road and I truly feel that one is never ready because situations will always arise in marriage that one is unprepared for. The point of marriage is that you have someone to walk through that with. I told my ex time and time again that he didn’t need to have X amount of zeros in his bank account before marrying me. That is what marriage is for. To walk through that journey together, to transition to the next phase in life with a lifelong witness. That is a marriage and that is a partner. If one has to get “ready” then that is a red flag. Of course one should be smart too. If there is not enough finances to take care of the basics then perhaps waiting is the right decision. Only you and him can make that call, but I would say the call is for God to make, it is up to you to answer.

    Be blessed.

    • Thanx Bret, for the comment and for passing by my blog. I really appreciate you taking your time on this.

      Its amazing to know that someone can actually be happy with another person, well..apart from that one person that they thought was their ‘soulmate’. Am glad to know you happy with the one you with. Thats what matters most-your happiness.

      I sometimes think I cloud my thinking and fail to look at other possibilities, therefore I might be stuck in stagnation. Frustration may soon follow.

      However, I shall not give up just yet. We dont even have jobs yet, still both living under our parents’ roof. Still a long way to go, I guess. In all this waiting, I pray for strength. Like you said, as much as I might try to plan it all, God has the last call.

      Blessings,
      Love.

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