Lately, I have been having problems with M. He has been constantly chatting with this chic for the past one year. Then the worst part, he denies that there is something going on between the two of them. 6 months ago, I confronted him and I let him know that I did not like it. Guy didnt even flinch. He did absolutely nothing about it. Since I had so much stress to deal with this 4th year, I didnt bother with that drama. But now that am on holiday and idle as hell, heck yea I want this B.S to stop!!
Worst part though, he seems to be changing gradually. He is starting to take me for granted. Probably because I have given him my all..and then he sees this chic and sees a plan B just in case I decide to bail one day. I dont know. Honestly, I am so confused. Worst part, he never even bothered to help me out during the days leading up to my 4th year pinup presentation. Yet I know he could have if he wanted to.. All my classmates had their significant others or atleast siblings helping out. Guy was just so full of excuses and even lied that he was getting me supper that last night only to say that he was just joking. Who does that? Who jokes at such a stressful time..right before a pinup. *Arch students can relate..* Then he keeps insisting that I am the one insinuating that he did not want to help. Trying to turn it all around on me. Making me look like the bad person so that I can apologize for his sake, just like I always do. It reached a point I think I cracked. I have never reached such a breaking point in this our 7-year relationship.
My emotions have just been everywhere. Gosh!! The things I have done the past few days.. Oh My Goodness! Wouldnt call myself a party animal but I managed to party non-stop from wednesday night all the way to saturday night. That was last week but one. Up until now, I have made out with 3 of my classmates and slept with two of them. :0
This is definitely not the road I want to take. Part of me regrets all I have been up to, but then again part of me doesnt give a hoot!! Because honestly, I have never felt more sexy, wanted, in control, happier, bolder, more outgoing, excited, more confident..stronger, more ambitious..Honestly, apart from my shameless lusciviousness…I feel like a better version of me. Me without M.
We are to meet in the course of the week to iron things out. I dont even know what I want at this point, with him. All I know is that I want to be happy and to be in a position where I am living out my full potential as an all-rounded individual. Wish me luck y’all. 🙂