One project down..close to 6 more to go. How am I feeling? Pathetic! Depressed-ish! Like I could have done better in this first one. Project introduction and site-visit on the first day of reporting literally just left me damaged. Psychologically, mentally, physically not so much. It was atleast not the hallo I expected though I didnt expect some sort of embrace and sweets being dished out to each one of us. Its 4th year..not 2nd year no more!! Reality hits me over and over again.
This marathon is taking a lot of getting used to. It feels more like punishment as the day goes by. I guess thats why some call it architoture. I know I have started out on some kind of slowmotion..switching software and all..just so I can produce more workable designs. Gone are the days when I would sail my way through academic years with iconic concepts that werent exactly that easy for an engineer to interpret. This will definitely take A LOT of getting used to. Getting off my comfortzone.
I have been beating myself up..A Lot!! Changing softwares especiakky felt really bad!! Kind of like I was having a really really bad breakup that is inevitable. It almost killed my drive. BUT..I am really surprised, the things I was able to do with this new one. It was a really good surprise and one that uplifted me when I was starting to feel really down. God’s grace is what I can call it.
The fact that I havent been as psyked as most of my colleagues have, has been kind of frustrating really. How everybody else is working their ass off like they are doing last project on earth while am here just simply working according to my moods. I guess I just dont wanna burn out before the last project is over. Missing my period last semester for a straight 3 months was not even funny. Yes. Welcome to architecture..where the stress is enough to hibernate some of your body organs. Looking back though, it was kind of worth it.
Funny thing though, I have noticed I always start all my academic years like this. Kind of chilled, almost blase even..getting to see where everybody is at; my colleagues, my lecturers..then BAM!! I hit when they least expect it!! Haha. But really, it takes a lot of strength, resilience, patience..this course. I cant help but wonder how it would be like if I didnt actually enjoy architecture. Man, it would be really crappy!!
Ooookaay!! Enough sobbing around!! Hallo Project 2!! Lets get this party started. I have 3 weeks to get it done. Its all about landscaping the previous project. Its my 1st landscaping project actually. I know this one shall be my come back!! 🙂 That I can feel in my veins. Wish me luck people. :*
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