He Changed My Heart

Last day of holiday and am already feeling nostalgic. This has been among the best holidays I have ever had. It has been a holiday in its true essence. I have rested enough and right now I am feeling so refreshed, its amazing. I really needed it.

This holiday, I started this blog just as a by the way and it even surprises me how much it has come to mean to me. You, dear friends have made it what it is today and I will always cherish you. Your support; follows, likes and encouragement keeps me motivated.

It has become a sort of accountability platform for me. Sometimes I even find myself thinking..”well..I wrote in the blog that one should be fearless so perhaps I should start practising it..” Makes me want to have a ‘Walk-The-Talk’ attitude. πŸ™‚

When the holiday started, I had to keep my fingers crossed that things at home would remain calm. Being around my parents for so long is usually not so pretty because argument and misunderstanding is bound to happen. However, I have smoothly sailed through this holiday with nothing but good times and no arguments whatsoever. Mind you it has been a whole 3 months.

Lesson Learnt;

“..Maybe God is not changing your situation because He wants to change your heart first..”

I began this holiday with a prayer, that God may intervene for my family; that my dad may become more understanding, and get rid of his temper and that my mum would be more supportive and stop being on his side all the time leaving us kids to suffer under his control and outbursts of anger. I also prayed that I may have the strength and positivity to cope with all these.

Well, looking back, not much has changed about them really, just that I have been careful not to fall victim and God has been gracious. I have been Managing My Emotions..Funny thing, not really funny though, its actually kind of sad; they have had arguments among themselves due on the same-misunderstanding, tiemper.

So am looking at all these, and I begin to realize that God indeed did something really special to me..in me. Something that I will forever be grateful for. He changed my Heart..which has changed my mind, soul. See I no longer think the way I thought, of all the bad that lurked in the dark, the future and the present, past. I have learnt to let God take full control of my tommorrow. My today, He deals with it moment by moment. I dont have to worry about anything because He is Able. He is God over our past, present and future.

My Happiness Journey came as a result of this immense peace I experienced after I made that prayer. I knew I needed strength to sustain it. His Grace has been sufficient all these days. As I go back to school, For the rest of my life’s journey too I pray that His Joy shall be My strength. I know this probably feels like it but No..its not a Goodbye. Just kind of a transition post for me.. Well..then again I might not be able to blog as much with school but Ill try. Oh..and get ready to learn about Architecture..coz it will be all I eat, drink, sleep, think..and talk about. Hallo Arch School!!


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My journey to ‘A Happier Me’

Happiness comes to those who seek it.
All I knew as I was coming home this holiday is that I wanted the perfect vacation, the happiest most peaceful one. And now, day 45 almost halfway into it, I can proudly say, I have never experienced such peace.

This is how it played out;
In the past, that is past two long holidays, I have often rushed to get attachment and I must say, that kind of has robbed me of that ‘perfect holiday’, fatigue from work and the constant bullying by the boss, with his endless nagging and close to supernatural demands.

Not to forget arguments with parents concerning the same attachment. Disagreements over which firm I should work for and which not. Leading to unnecessary bitterness and grudges because, I for one, thought they had crossed the line…trying to control every bit of my life. While they, on the other hand, thought I was being very rebellious. Well, things were left very sour, even at the end of that 3month holiday and I hated it!! Thats not what holidays were for>>>>

I remember one particular day when I was feeling extremely stressed out. And I told God that if its attachments that are driving the wedge between me and my parents, then am not so sure if they are worth it. I told God that on my next holiday I want to be at peace, I want to just be me, no annoying bosses, no more annoying my parents.

Thus, in the course of my semester I started to think up ways I would achieve that happiness. How I would, in a wholesome way, have the ultimate holiday.

1. I was going to take up any little design project that came my way. Either through referrals or friends or family (currently working on my dad’s office interiors) :))

2. While I was still in school, I had passed up a design competition opportunity partly because I was so busy with the semester projects and partly because I kept procastinating it and it really ached when the results came out and I realized I could have easily made it to the finals. But that was merely theoretical, right? Perhaps not… πŸ˜‰

So I swore that during the long holiday, I would take up any design competition that came my way. (currently working on a design right now, started it on the second week of my holiday, due mid August. Y’all wish me luck. 1000USD at stake here!! ;))

3. I have like more than 20 architecture ebooks and I always complain during school, how hard it is to read one, cover to cover. I mostly use them as reference books. (currently done reading a certain book on architectural sustainability and My! Oh My! Boy have I been missing out!! )

1.I am quite the emotional type. I get teared up at the slightest things. Always trying to work on it though. Back in school I even got myself a book. ” Managing Your Emotions” by Joyce Meyer. And well, am still reading it. Okay, honestly I wanna continue reading it today…since the beginning of the holiday.

2 Emotionally also; I tend to get into stupid fights with my boyfriend a lot more when we are apart from each other than when we are together. In school; we see each other almost everyday. At home; every once a week. (this time though none of that has happened. πŸ™‚ i have learnt to get a grip of my emotions more.)

1.Well, I go to church atleast every Sunday andΒ  I know that doesnt count as being spiritually stable at all. So I search myself deeper…my inner self. And one thing that I must confess that has me in bondage, is sexual sin. See, though me and my boyfriend are christians, and believers at that, we struggle a lot with sexual sin. And its easier during the holidays, to stave off the urges and to focus on other things….

We have been together for 6 years now, and we have been having sex in 4 of those. Quite a dilemma this has been. But we are working on it. (for the first time ever, we were able to stay 5 weeks without giving on and then when we finally did, we swore to make thing work, and now its going to the 3rd week. Wish me strength y’all :)) I still believe that sex before marriage is wrong.

2.As a way to grow spiritually too, I thought of getting christian novels for once!!! Always thought them to be boring and condescending, judgmental and full of threats. Much to my shock and delight, I found them to be the best books one could ever read in their life. So refreshing. (am now going to my 4th book, after reading ‘Oceans Apart’, ‘Divine’, and ‘Redemption’…all by Karen Kingsbury.) Get them…if you love life!! And if you are seeking that indepth knowledge of how God can work in your life.

Wow! Cant believe I have to do this..again…cut short my post. But, I have to call the contractor doing my dad’s office interiors and set up a meeting with him and get my design rolling!!!! Catch y’all later! Don go nowhere! Hehehehe..

Wish me luck!

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