And Am Still Counting…..

The more I do this, the more I realize that am in a battle. A battle against my enemy. I guess I could could also say a battle against myself because “you are your own worst enemy”.. I still feel it in my heart, hear it in my mind-the temptation to give up, to give in..

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Day 67 and still counting. I have loved every step of this journey. When I started this, I merely thought I was doing it for just that one moment when I was feeling down. And even when I cried to God that Sunday the 19th May this year, to lift the burden that has always been my pain, off my shoulders, I thought that perhaps I was just being over-emotional. But actually, that is the very day that I let go.

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Something about living “happy”. At first, it can seem to get very boring because the life that used to make me happy, I am done with. I dont even crave for it-the partying, the gossiping with friends, the alcohol, the sex. All that is vanity of vanities. Like the passing wind. Things that only left me feeling more broken. Yes..Though I hate to admit it sometimes.

It amazes me how fast time is flying by. More so, I begin to thi.nk that its probably because I am at my very best state of body, heart and mind. Never been so peaceful for this long-in My Whole Life!! Its beautiful.
I used to say that I like to take each day at a time but those, days, those were just words….to perhaps make me feel good about myself.

Nowadays, I literally live One Day At A Time!! How??..u may ask.

First of all, I dont allow myself to think of some of the negativities of the past. When I find myself thinking about it though, I will either try to see the good that came out of it but if that doesnt work, I just quickly brush it off. I find myself planning stuff..a lot. I can think up almost everything I will say and do when I attend say, an event like a graduation party. I start to wonder who will be there, and some other details that surprise even me. Then I start to imagine things that could go wrong. Consequently, I start to stress over it then I get upset for nothing.

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But, I have learnt to Be Still and to live in the moment. Nowadays when I find myself obsessing over things I cant control, like the future, I usually tell myself this; ‘Tommorrow, you will deal with itself!! I am living in the Now..in the Today!! So for now, Give me a break!!”

My prayer; that this wont end in Day 110 but will be a Lifetime Change for me. Join me people, in this Happiness Journey!!

Still counting,
Love.

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Cut that Compromise!!

I bet all of you have had to compromise; more than we may be willing to admit actually. (Some of us are actually compromising right this moment. Reading/writing this instead of doing work/assignments/chores. :p )Be it with family, friends, lovers, school, work. I know I have.

well….if you know me, you know all my illustrations will have something to do with love. In this case relationships and the temptation to cheat, during. (been there done dat)

Compromise;

* Flourishes when the decision to do the right thing isnt made at the right time. For example, when you fail to pause and think before you kiss that guy…

*Underestimate the devil’s ability to lure and trap. Who knows just how far that kiss will go… If you are over at his place. You are totally screwed. Going there was just enough!!!

*Just a choice away. You either say yes or no. Its a decision only you can make. You choose to go about it or to just stay away from the guy for good if possible.

*Entices through flattery and fantasy. He says he thinks you have very sweet-looking lips and you immediately picture the two of you riding off in the sunset..to the starry nightscape.

*Through rationalization and deception. Once you find yourself rationalizing the situation, thinking of all the reasons why you should actually do it, you are soo screwed!! Dont let your thoughts wander off to that road.

*Always costs so much. When you are over and done with it..the thrill of it subsides..actually ends so fast and is replaced by feelings of guilt and self-loathing that you could have avoided.

How do we avoid it;

*Convictions. Or scruples or principles if you like. Yes…grab a stool and let it help you reach that topmost unreachable corner of you closet..in that dusty old box where you hid ’em principles once you hit the age of 20 and thought to yourself, ” Heck Yea!! Am gonna do what I want! Am young and freeee!!” Without values you fall for conveniences.

*Courage. Get the guts to flee. Run away from temptations. Dont get tired of saying NO to that situation that beckons you…welcomes you with open arms. I had to literally had to run away from a really hot guy who was trying to chat me up one day as I walked to class. I tend to fastforward things pretty much in my mind..and I could see how easy and exciting it would be to kiss that guy..or worse. :/

*Commit. Get advice. Share with a friend..or a mentor…or counsellor…or Me. 😉 Haha. Well, dont just sit there and wait till you make some crappy decisions. Talk to someone who will snap you back to reality. Someone who will talk some sense in you and that will hold you accountable. Pray for strength. Its not easy.

*Confidence. When you tell a guy No. Say it like u mean it!! Let him respect your boldness and the truth that you stand for. Thus you wont have him around anymore, tempting you left right and centre. 😉 Haha.

Be bold,
Love.

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