to start from the beginning or

not..

My little sister is really excited about her school trip tommorrow…but mostly the fact that she doesnt have homeworks today…so she can just leisure around the house and play and watch t.v as she eats, which, she usually doesnt on a normal schoolnight.

Her bright smile tells it all…the newfound ‘freedom’..You can hear it in her voice as her singing echoes in the house.

She is 10 and so full of life and energy…Her pink/lilac room is so flowery and cute…and as I flip through her storybooks..all fairytales…I cant help but miss the good old days…the innocence.

Growing up erases all that..somehow. Some people help make it faster actually…by how they treat us..the things they do, or say to us.

I remember the shock when I first learnt where babies come from. Now that was a major shocker for me. Worst part is..our househelp at the time gladly took me through the details…making it soo horrifying that that day I looked at my mum with so much pity….just the thought of what I did to her when I was born made me shudder! And I didnt dare ask her about it..you know..just to confirm..lest I get some good spanking using the dreaded red slipper!!

So there I was….8 years old with this new-found knowledge and the world spinning around me. Nothing was the way I’d seen it.. But this was just the beginning. I was starting to learn that this world is no perfect place. Up to this day I dont know if there is anybody who could have prepared me for what lay ahead..  

See I dint understand that thats how the world works; that something so good could come out of an experience so painful..(no young child does anyway)
that sometimes the most life changing moments in our lives are those that we dread the most.
(a special dedication to my friend who delivered a healthy bouncing baby boy last night. Girl was really determined…attended her evening BCOM classes without fail and only took a break this week. Girl, when I grow up I want to have your strength! :* cant wait to hold that bundle of joy this sunday!! :)….)

Babies… I love them. I miss being one. Knowing absolutely nothing and being so peaceful and cute about it. . .Adulthood..well..eeerrr…am trying. I think I really am. Currently on a mission to connect with my inner child. 🙂

Stay cute,
Love.

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